MMX

-or- a marginally more personal look at what being a slave means to me, and how it makes me feel

I really haven't had long to think about what being a slave means or how it feels.  As I said in the previous post it's been less than a week, and I really don't feel like I've got a grasp of the whole measure of what I've gotten myself into.

For example, ostensibly Madame can do whatever she flipping wants to me, within a few general limits.  And academically I know that I should either trust her with that power and feel honored for the opportunity and glad that she uses me in a way she pleases, but without having to actually experience it it feels somewhat detached and I've no emotional reaction to the idea.

The closest I came was when I talked with Madame about her plans for virgin slaves to remain that way forever.  And I will say that I'm not too happy about that, but at the same time I don't really have a choice in the matter do I?  It hit me in the gut like a brick that I'd never lose my V card, but at the same time the fact that I had no choice kind of deadened the emotion.  And I guess the trust I place in Madame to watch out for my well-being helped too.

That being said, of what little I've experienced so far I'm glad for the opportunity.  This has been a dream of mine for some time, and to actually be the property of someone else is a great honor.  I don't particularly feel like property, but as with all good things I suppose that will come in time, and only time will tell.